My underworld Journey

I feel like it’s important for me to tell my story at this time as Venus sits in the Underworld as I reflect on my on own personal journey of descent. As we, the feminine prepare to resurrect ourselves out of the Underworld as a collective, it is my prayer that my story inspires & ignites a fire within your heart to breathe life of personal reclamation within your own life to live a life of cyclical leadership.

I was born December 11th, 1975. I came onto this planet 2 & 1/2 weeks late and just as my head began to crown & come through the birth canal, my mother’s cervix began to close. I don’t know if the doctor’s forced me out of the birth canal or not, but I was born with a broken right collar bone which created a 12 hour separation between my mother & I. Without any physical contact between the 2 of us, I can imagine my soul came into this planet with a feeling of separation, loss and sadness.

My father was not present at the hospital during my birth or emotionally as I grew up so I remember going through life longing for his love and acceptance.

Our birth stories are very important to tell. If you still have your physical parents I would highly suggest asking your mother what your birth was like. There is this strange mirroring that occurs around our birth that plays out around our spiritual path.

Because I had this separation from the ‘Mother’ and was stuck in the birth canal, in my physical reality I had multiple times where as a child I almost drowned. Now some might call these weird coincidences, but I feel this was my soul trying to wake me up to this underlying truth that my soul had been carrying with me for lifetimes. As if I was ‘stuck’ in a parallel reality, just like being in the birth canal.

But I feel I need to give you the back story before I can tell you how I shed the belief from being “stuck” in life.

Almost my entire life I had this recurring pattern of seeking love, approval and validation from my father. At first it was unconscious. The outsourcing of my power began with becoming epileptic at the age of 16. I was so HUNGRY and desperate to be in Union. My heart ached to be loved and cared for that I would allow myself to be abused, mistreated and verbally assaulted by anyone who gave me their time and attention.

I went into a dark, depression after highschool as my friends went off to college. I didn’t have any direction or purpose in life. I went from being the captain of my cheerleading team, popular & the center of attention. To gaining 30 pounds from medication and depressed. I began to self medicate with drugs and alcohol and spiraled into an addiction for the next 8 years.

My patterns of seeking love and approval heightened through my depressive state. As a child I remember feeling so close to God & the Universe. Always looking up at the clouds & in the mirror asking “who am I, why am I here, where will I go when I leave this place?”

Through this dark period, I did go through beauty school & it was one of the proudest times of my life. Becoming a hairstylist & working on my craft has always allowed me to connect with people in ways I never thought possible.

I worked for a boss who lifted me up and saw me for true person I am on the inside. An empathic, gentle, kind soul. He became like a father figure to me & I will always look up to him. I fell like God placed him in my life as an angel in human form. As part of my soul family so I could to start breaking down the walls around my heart that were already put in place that needed to come down for later in life.

When I got sober in 2003, the veils began to thin and I started to see things differently. The depression started to lift & the connection I felt to God started to come back. The innocence, purity & child like spirit I once felt was making it’s way back into my life.

I was beginning to not only feel God, but hear God speak to me. The quiet voice, the still, small voice that moves us in the direction of our highest path, that voice that KNOWS. That voice was returning.

In 2007 I began to embark on different healing modalities such as yoga & meditation. I began to fill my cup and my soul with more spirituality and dive deeper into healing then in 2009 I became a certified energy healer.

I continued on the path of shadow work which my soul continued to attract many more relationships into my life which mirrored relationships like my father; avoidant & emotionally unavailable. This continued to bring up a lot of pain, insecurity, abandonment & confusion within me.

Until 2021 in the last relationship I was in prior to my husband who when the distance, coldness & avoidance started showing up & I began to feel anxious & insecure I knew I was placing a man above God.

I decided to journey deep into my womb where the pain, separation and stories were hidden around ‘the Mother’

I went into this pain of loss, this feeling of disconnection and sadness that I was feeling from this particular person.

And what I was seeing, the images that were coming into my vision were that my belly was big and I was pregnant. It was such a visceral experience.

I was in a lifetime where I was giving birth to this person. He was my son and that’s why the love felt so intense. The only reason why we came together was so I could experience this exact re-Union, of knowing my son again. But it became clear to me that as the embodiment of the ‘Holy Mother’ & the Divine Feminine, we are not meant to be in Divine Union with our children, if it’s this lifetime or another. I integrated this feeling of allowing myself to receive from the masculine while simultaneously releasing any maternal need to take care of my future partners.

This was the turning point for me and my journey.

I resurrected myself out of victimhood, my pain, my shadow, my grief & dysfunctional patterns I had learned from my lineage.

I created ceremony for myself & wrote down all the things that I have been in Union with that were keeping things ALIVE in my life. Behaviors, patterns, cycles etc… I wrote them down & I asked Sophia, Black Goddess of wisdom to bury them in her cave of darkness & illuminate what I could not see for my own wisdom.

As I entered the dark cave of Sophia, Black Goddess of Wisdom, I was shown my birth story. It went into my mother’s womb & I began to have visions of Lemuria and the inner earth realm simultaneously. I was shown that the sunken civilization & why so many of us who have fear of drowning is directly related to the separation of the ‘Mother’ and our fear of water, the womb & creation.

As I came out of this journey, I held space for myself & sent gratitude to Sophia, Black Goddess for holding my sadness & grief & showing me what I needed to see.

As I resurrected myself out of this pain, separation from the Holy Mother, Father God, I continue to walk my path reclamation through these ancient resurrection rites of passage with Venus, Sophia & the Magdalene - Isis Lineage.

Join me for our journey of descent into the Underworld, October 2026.